Sara Sweat, MA – Founder & CEO, Mindshift Advisors
The holidays are usually pitched as a pause. But if you’re like many high-performing professionals, this time of year feels less like a break—and more like an emotional and logistical obstacle course covered in glitter.
You’re technically “off,” but internally? You’re still very much “on.” You’re thinking about next quarter, how to wrap this one well, and whether it’s too late to find a thoughtful gift that ships on time. All while attending a string of holiday events that leave you overstimulated and undernourished.
The expectations are a lot. Even for someone who’s used to doing a lot.
The Myth of the Magical Holiday Season
There’s so much pressure this time of year—to be available, thoughtful, joyful, rested, connected, creative, generous, present, and supportive. (Preferably all at once.)
But what if you didn’t have to perform this season?
What if you could actually experience it instead?
Experiencing your holiday season doesn’t require more logistical & scheduling prowess. It requires more intention and presence.
Invitation ≠ Obligation
A request is not a requirement. Start by calendaring your priority events first. That light show you always love? Get the dates secured first. The spiritual service that creates meaning for you – lock it in. It’s your holiday, so make your priorities paramount.
Then, block off intentional down time and nights for rest. “Future you” is more tired than you are right now. So, help them out by keeping some nights completely free. You can always fill them in later if you choose – but you’ll have built in rest if it’s needed.
In the slots that remain open, choose what aligns with your availability and actually sounds FUN! Drudgery is not on anyone’s gift list. So, if you have to choose between the annual neighborhood cookie bakeoff that stresses you out and the holiday party of a colleague you’d like to know better – make the investment that makes being present a joy.
Bookend the Chaos with Peace
Your mornings and evenings matter more than ever during hectic seasons. They’re your built-in reset buttons— so use them.
Spend the first ten minutes of your day writing out your goals & non-negotiables. “I will buy a gift for Grandma today. I will not get roped into volunteering for the holiday party at my son’s school.”
At the end of the day, create a downshift ritual. Take a hot shower, read a chapter of a good book, light a scented candle, or play some of your favorite holiday songs. Your ritual should be quick, easy, and low lift – just something to signal that you’re home, it’s the holidays, and you’re going to enjoy them.
Resign the Role of Emotional Cruise Director
You are not responsible for how everyone else feels this holiday season- even if they think you are.
This is especially hard for parents who work so diligently to create magic and wonder for their children at this time of year. But, what kids remember more than any event or gift is the simple magic of you. Give them your presence, your attention, and your enjoyment this year.
As for the adults, in the words of NYT Bestselling Author, Mel Robbins – “let them”. They’re in a bad mood because your cranberry sauce came from a can? Let them be grumpy. They are disappointed you can’t make their event? Let them be upset. They feel slighted by your decision not to send out holiday cards this year? Give them a hug…and let them, let it go.
Because being the emotional cruise director for grown adults is neither merry nor bright.
Normalize Conflicting Emotions
The holidays bring up so many conflicting emotions.
You can feel joyful and still be grieving a loved one you lost this year. You can treasure your family and also dread the group chat. You will feel both grateful and overwhelmed.
These are not contradictions—they’re the human condition. So, don’t expect yourself or anyone else to show up feeling one thing at a time. Make room for the sacred tension and you’ll take the pressure off everyone – including yourself.
You Don’t Have to Earn Your Rest
This holiday season doesn’t have to be a test of your endurance. Let it be an invitation instead—into presence, rest, and the kind of joy that doesn’t require performance.
You don’t need to be everything to everyone – just wholly and authentically yourself.
