Burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s disconnection. This piece explores how losing connection to self, others, and meaning quietly erodes our energy, and how intentional reconnection can change everything.
Sara Sweat, MA – Founder & CEO, Mindshift Advisors
Burnout is often blamed on busy calendars and poor boundaries—too much to do, not enough time to rest. But one of its biggest drivers isn’t exhaustion. It’s disconnection.
We don’t burn out from doing too much. We burn out from doing too much – disconnected.
What Do We Mean By “Connection,” Anyway?
Connection is the internal and external glue that sparks inspiration, taps us into new ideas, & helps us learn faster and easier.
- Connection to self roots us in identity—our values, emotions, needs, and inner truth.
- Connection to others grounds us in belonging. It reminds us we’re not meant to be alone.
- Connections within our work, our parenting, our passion—gives us meaning. It helps us make sense of why we do what we do.
When those threads fray, even the most competent among us can begin to unravel.
According to research in Psychological Science, chronic disconnection—whether emotional, relational, or existential—can contribute to depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, and early mortality. Yes, you read that right – being disconnected literally shortens our lives.
The connections we don’t make – halt insights, hide patterns, recycle old solutions, and deepen the blind spots of routine. In short, disconnection makes it easier to miss exactly what we’re trying to see.
The Connections We Miss
As will surprise no one who knows me, I was a deeply feeling child. Not in a gentle, always caring for others, helpful way. But, in the messy, chaotic, & inconvenient way that arises from noticing and experiencing far more than you have the capacity or language to express.
I routinely fought with my mother who, it seemed to my childish mind, was as unfeeling a human as could possibly exist. Her unwillingness to acknowledge the sheer depths of my suffering from things like having a bedtime and being forced to eat boiled brussel sprouts felt like a rejection of the deepest parts of my soul.
Though I stand by my assessment of the sprouts, I did eventually learn to understand my emotions; converting them into the emotionally intelligent practices that have guided me as a leader for decades. I leverage these learnings in every area of my life & even got a Masters degree in Counseling so I could help others do the same.
And still – I missed it.
I spent weeks preparing our family’s Easter celebration. The day was filled with decorations, a backyard Easter egg hunt, delicious and healthy meals, creative games & fun activities for everyone to enjoy. I had cleaned, planned, cooked, researched, & done my best to ensure the magic of the holiday filled our home.
So, when my child – after being asked to get ready for bed – burst into tears and yelled a confident pronouncement that this was “the worst day ever”…I lost it.
I quickly reminded him of all that he’d been given. All the effort it took to create the day. The things to be grateful for and happy about. I asked, in earnest, “when I spend so much time making everything perfect & you’re miserable instead of grateful – what exactly would you like me to do?”
He responded meekly, “I don’t know…give me a hug??”
Your kids say all kinds of things that radically alter your world. But that? That was like taking a bullet to the chest.
But, I got it. The connection I had been missing?
He was just like me.
I suddenly remembered what it was like to be that deeply feeling kid in a world that wants you to be anything but. To have the uncomfortable emotions of the present overshadow the joy of the past. And, to lack the ability to do anything about it.
What my son needed; all he really needed…was connection.
And, so did I. We sat in the old rocking chair in his room and talked. I acknowledged what he was feeling. I let him know he wasn’t alone. And, most importantly, I stopped letting his emotions trigger my own.
Once the connection between us was restored, everything settled. And, all was right with the world.
How to Rebuild Connections (Without Burning Out)
You don’t have to ruin Easter to reconnect with your life. Start by incorporating these three practices.
Observe
Life moves fast. If you don’t create space to slow down and notice, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.
- Start your day with 60 seconds of silence—notice the thoughts that arise. Write them down without judging them & observe the trends.
- Journal your answer to one question each night: What did I most notice today?
- Check in with yourself throughout the day. Pay attention to what makes you feel grounded (and what makes you feel small).
Values
When we experience disconnection, it usually means we’re misaligned with our values.
- Before your next task, ask: Why does this matter? Get in touch with the meaning behind your action.
- Identify one thing you’re doing today that serves a value you care about.
- Not sure what you value most? Take a walk without a podcast or music. What keeps popping into your head is what matters most.
Get Curious, Not Furious
When things go wrong (and they will), respond with curiosity first.
- As you enter a meeting or event, intentionally shift your focus from leading to learning.
- When you’re upset, take a step back and get curious. About your reaction, the other person, or the situation at hand.
- Prepare for discomfort. Reconnecting requires vulnerability.
Remember…
Reconnection isn’t a reset button. It’s an invitation to returning. To remembering.
Who you are.
What you need.
Why everything around you actually matters.
So today—don’t just keep going. Don’t push through your to do list. Pause. Connect.
You weren’t made to live disconnected. Thankfully, you don’t have to.
